Predators Survivor Hero

Karen was beaten, raped and consistently told how ugly and stupid she was by her stepfather. This abuse led her to a pattern of bad choices and unhealthy, abusive men later in life. She, like many survivors of abuse, had grown comfortable in pain: Abuse was familiar and peace something she had never known. She married three times to unhealthy men. She found living in chaos comfortable; however, it wasn’t until she discovered her own husband abusing her daughter that she knew she had to do everything in her power to try and escape her painful past.

Karen said she took steps day by day to move out of pain and into a peaceful life that she created for herself and children. Karen states, “I don’t think any one who has lived through acts of violence ever truly gets over it. There are times when circumstances spark painful memories and at times it’s overwhelming. So I make a choice: Is this the day I’m going to allow the pain of circumstances control me after all these years — or not. Occasionally, I’ll give into it and feel the pain and it’s important that I do, but it’s also important that I not wallow in it. Feel it, recognize it, and then choose to move on. Secondly, I have to take accountability for my own part in it. I certainly am not to blame for the actions that any of these men took on me. As a child, I was powerless. As and adult, the circumstances I remain in or choose to be in are just that: a choice. I had the choice and the responsibility to get my children and myself to a safe environment.” Karen has said she’s had to retrain her brain, which had been taught that she deserved abuse, and create a new way of thinking that she deserved peace.

Today, Karen is on the Board of Directors for a non-profit organization that provides assistance to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault and education to the community about the blithe of these behaviors. “I’m part of an organization whose commitment is to assist women and men in distress and assist them in becoming stable and working their way out of the darkness that is their life into a productive, safe, happy life.”

Karen is a single, professional mom. She works for an International consulting firm on a very large project overseeing contract changes. She says, “Some days those old familiar feelings come back and I have to deal with them. Other days I’m strong and confident and I make a mark impression and change millions of lives as a result of my decisions in a very small way.”

Karen was chosen as our Predators.tv Hero award for her commitment to changing her life, her children’s’ lives, and the lives of other domestic victims. The cycle of abuse can be one of the most terrifying situations to flee – but you did it, Karen and we are so thankful! Congratulations!

Are you a Predators Survivor Hero? Do you know someone that was a victim of crime and has moved beyond his or her situation to make a difference for others? If so, we want to hear from you about this true survivor! Please send your suggestions to us via our Contact Us page.

What To Do About Cyberbullies

Written by J.A. Hitchcock

There are several avenues for action, depending upon who the cyberbully is and what the cyberbully has done. Victims do have recourse, and cyberbullies can be stopped, and sometimes even prosecuted for criminal or civil offenses.

ACT IMMEDIATELY! The longer you wait, the harder it is to successfully identify the cyberbully.

IF YOU ARE RECEIVING DEATH THREATS or believe yourself or your family to be in immediate physical danger, dial 9-1-1 IMMEDIATELY.

RESPOND ONCE to the cyberbully with a simple "Please stop contacting me." You do not have to explain yourself. After that, DO NOT ENGAGE IN ANY MORE COMMUNICATIONS WITH THAT PERSON. It is important that you do not communicate with the other person, and that you do not take any actions or have any conversation that will further provoke the negative communication.

CREATE AN "EVIDENCE" FILE/FOLDER. SAVE ALL MESSAGES AND COMMUNICATIONS. Save everything -- whether you save the message itself to a special folder, print it out, or copy and paste it to a Word document -- even if you need to hit the "Print Screen" key to capture the communication. Do not delete text messages. Capture a digital photo! If live, try to record the conversation. Be sure to write down all of the details about that conversation:

WHAT type of communication was received…
WHEN it was sent (day and time)…
WHAT the message contained (when you first read it. Simply make copies of future messages that you are ignoring!)…
WHERE it was sent from (sender’s screen name or phone number)…
If you know, WHO sent it, WHO might have witnessed it…
and YOUR FEELINGS when you received the message.

PRINT COPIES of all messages. In Chat Room or Message Board, PRINT SCREEN and copy/save.

IF YOU HAVEN’T TOLD AN ADULT YOU TRUST YET, BE SURE TO TELL THEM NOW! A parent, guardian, teacher -- someone! IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Let an adult help you stop what is going on, and to keep you safe. It’s the only way…

TRY TO IDENTIFY WHO THE SENDER OR CALLER IS. Many times, the cyberbully is someone you know! Try to identify the person based upon your relationship and their motive. Try to make a list of names of anyone who might be angry with you, or generally dislike you.

Federal, state and local laws protect individuals and personal property from bias-based prejudice, slander and defamation, vandalism, sexual harassment, assault, and other criminal intent and actions. Check with your state’s web site on the laws they have available there.

For more information for kids and teens and staying safe online, visit WHOA-KTD (Kids/Teen Division) at haltabusektd.org.

I am available to speak at middle, high schools, colleges and universities to students, school personnel and parents about cyberbullying, online social networking sites and much more. Just email me at netcrimes@netcrimes.net for more information about this.

Back to School Safety for College Students

By Erin Weed

Q: Overall, how safe are American colleges?
There are many factors to be considered when classifying a college as “safe” or “unsafe.” Geographic location, student population and city crime rate, just to name a few. According to the National Crime Victimization Survey (Violent Victimization of College Students, 1995-2002), these are some overall characteristics of violent acts against college students:

• 41% of offenders were perceived to be using alcohol or drugs
• 72% of off-campus crime occurred at night (6:00 p.m. – 6:00 a.m.)
• In two thirds of the assaults, the offender was unarmed
• 58% of victimizations were committed by strangers (Except in the case of sexual assault against women. In these cases, victims were four times more likely to be assaulted by someone they knew.)

These statistics are helpful because they give us an idea of what is happening from a national perspective. However, it is even more valuable to know what’s really going on at your university. It used to be impossible to get college crime statistics, since universities were not mandated to report campus crime to city police. That all changed on April 5, 1986 when a 19-year-old student, Jeanne Ann Clery, was raped and murdered in her residence hall at Lehigh University. Her killer gained access to her building by entering through a series of propped open doors. The Clery family realized crime on campus was one of the best-kept secrets in the country and consequently founded an organization called Security on Campus, Inc. It is the first national, not-for-profit organization dedicated to the prevention of criminal violence at colleges. The Clerys lobbied the state government to make colleges report campus crimes. In 1990, President George H. W. Bush signed the Crime Awareness and Campus Security Act of 1990, now known as the Jeanne Clery Disclosure of Campus Security Policy and Campus Crime Statistics Act.

In plain English, the Jeanne Clery Act requires all federally funded colleges to report crime statistics. So what does this mean for you? You can visit the Security on Campus website (www.securityoncampus.org) and download the latest crime statistics for the college you plan to attend or are currently enrolled. Log on and get the scoop on what’s happening on your campus.

Note: While statistics are a helpful tool, violent crimes are often unreported (especially sexual assault). Avoid making conclusions based on statistics alone.

Q: What questions should I ask my university about its safety policies?
Start with these basic questions to see where your college stands on security. Take note on how your inquiries are handled. Are they taken seriously or are they blown off? This alone will tell you how committed your college is to keeping you safe.

• Are campus police sworn officers of the state or just security guards? A good security force consists of both.
• Do the annual crime statistics include reports to the dean’s office, judicial hearings, women’s rape/crisis centers?
• Are security logs open for public inspection?
• Does the school ask applicants if they have been arrested and convicted of a crime? If so, are applicants with a criminal history admitted?
• Are bathroom doors in co-ed dorms secured with master locks for floor residents?
• Are single-sex and substance-free dormitories available?

Reprinted with permission from Security on Campus Inc.
Find more questions on their website: www.securityoncampus.org.

Q: What are some typical security measures that should be in place on my campus?
Each campus has its own safety and security plans, designed around the geographic concerns of the college location and crime rates. While every campus has different safety initiatives, here is a list of common features to look for:

• Emergency Phones
  Strategically placed on campus, these phones are tall, blue poles with a light on the top. In the center of the pole is a phone, or just a button that summons campus security to your location when pushed. Use an emergency phone if you are feeling threatened, but keep in mind your first priority should be to escape an attacker (and it’s not likely you’ll be able to utilize the phone if you’re being chased). You can also use an emergency phone if you’ve witnessed a scenario that needs police attention. Always keep a charged cell phone with you in case of emergency and program it with the numbers of your local police department and 911 for easy dialing.

• Proper Lighting
  Scope out the campus at night in addition to during the daytime to assess the lighting situation. In the event you notice a light has burned out, take action and call the building maintenance department to report it. Each semester, find safe routes between class buildings and where you live. Look for routes that are open, well-lit and have a good amount of people around.

• Escort Services
  No, not the kind of escort service that sends a dashingly handsome Chippendale to your door. The escort service I am referring to is an officer or volunteer who accompanies students walking alone on campus. Simply call the escort service, and someone will walk or drive you to your destination. Ask your university if this service is available to students, and if so, who provides it. In most cases, escorts are campus police officers or students who have formed a group for this purpose. Don’t hesitate to use this service if it is available to you. If this service is not available, get a bunch of students together and start one up! (See Chapter 9 for tips on starting an escort service on your campus.)

Q: What if my campus does not have these security measures?
Never underestimate the power of one determined student! A good place to start is at the campus police station. Ask officers about the lax security and their suggestions for improving the situation. Sometimes campus cops get a bad rap, since they tend to interact with students only after dishing out a parking ticket or alcohol violation. Keep in mind they are just doing their job and for most of them, student safety is their number one priority.

Other individuals or groups on campus who may be able to help increase security measures include: university administration, the women’s center, student government or the campus newspaper. Nothing brings about change quicker than a little bad publicity.

Q: Where are the safest places to live while in college?
If you look at the numbers, the safest places are located on campus. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, 93% of crimes occurred off campus. Why is this? On-campus areas tend to have better police patrols, are more populated, have 24-hour buildings, staffed residence halls and better lighting. I have visited campuses located in terrible neighborhoods, yet campus crime numbers were relatively low due to proactive security initiatives.

Living in a residence hall freshman year is a good idea, in order to get a sense of your campus and community. Investigate the residence hall options at your university, considering your priorities and lifestyle. Many universities offer residence halls which are designated substance free, women only, athletic or honors halls. While living on campus is statistically safer, keep in mind that crime can happen anywhere. Avoid feeling a false sense of security just because you are on university property. Keeping up your safety radar is always a good idea, regardless of where you may roam.

Off-campus living offers more freedom but demands more personal responsibility on your part. Getting this kind of independent experience is awesome, but you have to be ready for it. When it comes to selecting an apartment or house to rent, it’s a good idea to scope out the neighborhood before narrowing it down to the actual residence. For rural campuses there may be limited rental options, while colleges in urban settings tend to have a vast array of choices.

Here are a few things to consider when choosing where to live:

• Who are the people in your neighborhood?
  What kind of people inhabit the apartments in the area? Are they mostly students? Do you know anyone who lives in the vicinity already who can give you some insight about the area? Ideally, you want to find a place where like-minded people are living. Being among other students works great not just for safety, but for social reasons as well.

• Do an online search of area sex offenders
  Go to the National Sex Offender Public Registry website at www.nsopr.gov. You can look up sex offenders by entering name, city, state, zip code, county, state or national criteria. The search will generate a list including offenders’ names, addresses, photos, aliases, and the types of convictions. This service is free and you must agree to the terms of the website before getting the information.

• Check out the nighttime vibe
  How is the neighborhood after dark? Most people go apartment hunting during the day, but you should also schedule an evening drive-by. Some neighborhoods seem fine during daylight hours, but have a whole different feel when the stars come out.

• Choose the right height
  Select an apartment above the ground floor but not higher than the sixth floor. First floor apartments are the top choice for home invaders, since it is easier to break into a window on ground level. High-rise apartments may carry a fire risk, since most fire departments do not have ladders that extend above the sixth floor.

• Look into renter’s insurance
  Once you decide on a place to live, call your local insurance agent to investigate options about renter’s insurance. Depending on the policy, it may protect your residence from theft, fire or other damages. It’s not very expensive and might be well worth it to protect your stuff, your safety and your peace of mind.

For more information, please visit www.girlsfightback.org and www.erinweed.com.

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