Predators Survivor Hero

To say that Heather Grossman is an amazing woman would be an understatement. In 1997, Heather's ex-husband hired men to kill her in a drive-by shooting in Boca Raton, FL. Even though her divorce was finalized two years earlier, her ex-husband continued to follow, have others trail, harass, and continuously make death threats to Heather.

Her ex-husband had not been paying child support for their three children. Heather needed to go back to court. She told the judge that she believed her ex-husband would kill her rather than pay the support. Unfortunately, Heather was right. A week later, before her ex's first child support payment was due, he shot her! She did die but was revived by a paramedic. When Heather woke up in the hospital she was a quadriplegic, paralyzed from the neck down and on life-support (a vent on the back on her wheelchair keeps Heather breathing.)

A priest came to visit Heather in the hospital. She asked the priest why he thought she was still alive. He said the words Heather says she will never forget, "Heather, God has a plan for you. You do not know what it is yet-but you will."

Heather says, "My faith in God and His grace have given me the strength to move past my pain. My three beautiful children have given me the strength to fight for my life. My commitment to doing everything I can to help eradicate domestic violence is my goal."

Heather's advice to other victims: "Do not let a crime change your life, let it shape your life. You are still you and nothing can change that. Like anything traumatic, it either shatters you or it makes you stronger. God willing, it will make you stronger."

Heather is a rare individual whose outward beauty is carried in to the core. In April, she received the honor of being chosen Ms. Wheelchair Arizona 2007. She is currently trying to raise enough money to attend Ms. Wheelchair America in MD, which is at the end of July. She is a mentor with the Arizona Spinal Cord Association. Her work as a speaker against domestic violence takes her all over the Phoenix area. In April, her story was featured on 48 Hours. Recently, Dateline interviewed her and that show will air end of July or early August. Heather beams, "I am getting my oldest son ready for college at ASU and my twins will start their junior year at Notre Dame Preparatory High School in August. I am very active and love life!! I feel very fortunate!"

For more information and to help Heather attend Ms. Wheelchair America, please visit her website: www.friendsofheathergrossman.com.

We'll be cheering for you!

Are you a Predators Survivor Hero? Do you know someone that was a victim of crime and has moved beyond his or her situation to make a difference for others? If so, we want to hear from you about this true survivor! Please send your suggestions to us via our Contact Us page.

Victim Advocacy and Victim Healing

"He hurt me, Mama! He hurt me so badly!" The teenage girl screamed and sobbed. Anguish from the depths of her soul pierced my ears and my heart. It was my responsibility as a crime victim advocate to help her and her family. How do you help restore a 16-year-old girl's innocence? How you do you restore her sense of safety? Her sense of trust? Her control over her own body? Her freedom to walk down a street with her boyfriend without being abducted at gunpoint, driven to a remote rural location, and raped repeatedly? How do you help calm her family and prevent them from stalking and killing the rapist themselves? How do you facilitate healing with such fierce raw physical and emotional pain?

Calm, compassion, and effective service - that's where it starts. I can never restore her to the person she was before the attack. I can guide her and her family through the complexities of the criminal justice system and support them through a healing journey. I can help them re-establish control over their own lives. I can be the calm constant in the chaos of the aftermath and their resource in the journey.

Arriving at the hospital, I drove through dozens of the victim's family members pacing and crying throughout the parking lot. Their loved one had been recovered after an all night law enforcement search for her. She was in the emergency room being attended for injuries, weather exposure, and of course, the all-intrusive rape evidence collection kit. As if being abducted at gunpoint and raped isn't vile enough, forensics requires us to secure the physical evidence. Medical professionals now secured physical evidence from her sore and bruised body. Vaginal swabs, oral swabs, pubic hair, and head hair from this young innocent teenage girl were taken, labeled in evidence collection bags and provided to law enforcement authorities. The fear of sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy loomed unspoken in the room. Less than twenty-hours earlier she had never had a sexual encounter.

Where does the hope for healing start? As a crime victim advocate, you support the survivor immediately with proper education about the crime, potential problems, and support services. You render intervention. Crisis intervention requires addressing immediate needs of primary and secondary victims. Although the teenage girl was the primary victim, dozens of family members were present - emotional, frightened, and angry. Multiple levels of injury must also be addressed. Physical injuries (from the beating as well as sexual assault), emotional injuries (fear, horror, anger, rage, guilt), spiritual (how could God let this happen to me?), racial (opposite race offender than victim), more fear (what if the victim tells family members the full details of the assault- the family member becomes enraged and storms out to kill the assailant) and much more.

Story continues on page 2.

Survivors Corner

Thank you for writing - we love hearing from you! Each month we will post your thoughts and suggestions for healing in this section of the newsletter.

"I don't know about words of wisdom, but here are a few helpful phrases that have helped me: Don't dwell on the past, you'll stay there if you do! You must move ahead to make a future...

Also, if we all put our problems in a basket and had to pick out what we wanted in life, we'd all probably choose our own again because we know we can deal with them.

Lastly, don't try drinking your problems away; they will float to the top!"

If you have something to share, please send it to us via our Contact Us page.

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