Late one unforgettable August night, J.J.'s life changed forever. J.J. was just 10 years old, when he witnessed his father, filled with rage, shoot and kill his beautiful 49-year-old mother. His father then turned the gun on himself and committed suicide.
J.J.'s mother, Lillian Smith, divorced her abusive, alcoholic husband after enduring years of physical and emotional abuse. She escaped and moved out of state; however, it was not long before her violent ex-husband found her, threatened and stalked her. Without any victim assistance programs available to help, she and J.J. fled back across the country to Denver, where she found refuge living with one of her daughters from her first marriage, and near her other daughter.
Lillian Smith was a wonderful, devoted, fun-loving mother and grandmother. She was friendly to everyone, active in church, spent most of her time with her five children, and worked as a bank teller.
Lillian was also very brave. Back in 1958, women's shelters did not exist and very few wives ever left their husbands due to domestic abuse. However, she found the strength and fortitude to do her best to escape this dangerous situation to try and create a peaceful life for her children. Lillian did not want her children to witness the beatings any longer.
Eventually, however, after two more years of stalking and threats, he broke into her apartment in the middle of that unforgettable night, shot and killed her as she tried to escape out the front door and then turned the gun on himself. J.J. was not harmed physically. But his life changed in that instant forever. That night he lost both parents due to domestic violence.
J.J.'s heart is much like his mother's. He doesn't want others to suffer as he has and has created the Lillian Smith Family Violence Foundation. He is truly a hero and his work is a tribute to his mother's love for life, peace and her belief and hope that we can enjoy both. For more information, please visit his site: www.lilliansmith.org
The Lillian Smith Family Violence Foundation is a leading Dallas TX-based non-profit alliance of survivors, family members, friends, professionals and other concerned citizens dedicated to stopping and preventing domestic physical and sexual violence, teen dating violence, child abuse, elder abuse and pet abuse through media campaigns, community/professional education, special events, lobbying, victim assistance and survivor support activities.
Are you a Predators Survivor Hero? Do you know someone that was a victim of crime and has moved beyond his or her situation to make a difference for others? If so, we want to hear from you about this true survivor! Please send your suggestions to us via our Contact Us page.
"Lures"
Recently, a friend of mine was basically "lured" into a job interview by his mother's boss. He stroked my friend's ego with compliments of his talents, praise from his mother, etc. He used his position of authority (school principal) to add credibility to the lure of a teaching position, but when my friend showed up, he found the school to be empty except for the principal. The principal made it clear within minutes the "real nature" of the interview. My friend was in a real quandary as to how to handle this situation, with his mother still on staff. He managed to remain calm and remove himself from this bad situation. The principal was a married grandfather and a church leader where my friend also attended. Great cover.
Often times we think the "lures" only apply to children. We also think that incidents like the above only apply to women. Sadly, neither of these are the case. However, many of these perpetrators escape notice, as women will report the incidents four to one times more often than men, as men fear being "labeled" from such an incident.
Point being, everyone has to be on guard and beware of stereotypes.
An update on this situation: The friend went to the administration and the district is "on notice" should another incident arise....
Survivors Corner
Thank you for writing - we love hearing from you! Each month we will post your thoughts and suggestions for healing in this section of the newsletter.
"Never, never, never give up hope! I kept on fighting because I knew that perhaps my best days were just around the corner! It took longer than I expected, but I eventually found those wonderful days…and I was so thankful I didn't give up when everything in my life looked hopeless."
If you have something to share, please send it to us via our Contact Us page.
Recommended Reading
Summer Safety Reading for Children:
It is finally here! The second edition of, the children's safety book, Those are MY Private Parts is ready. Diane Hansen started Empowerment productions as a tool for herself and others to help, teach and protect children. There is an epidemic in this country. We all have a responsibility to teach the children in our lives how to protect themselves.
A convicted child molester was quoted, "Parents shouldn't be embarrassed to talk about things like this-it is harder to abuse or trick a child who knows what you're up to
Go to www.amazon.com to order this important book today!
Find Your Courage!
Margie Warrell has written this book to help you reclaim the power you've been giving your doubts and fears, reconnect with your dreams and step forward with more confidence, clarity and courage in your life than you ever thought possible. In her down to earth Aussie style, Margie shares fresh perspectives, great stories, practical strategies and insightful exercises that will leave you feeling more powerful in every area of your life so you can enjoy greater success, deeper fulfillment and an enlarged capacity for joy - every day.
For more information or to order your copy of this great book please visit www.findyourcourage.com.
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Quote of the Month:
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." Dale Carnegie
NEVER, leave a child unattended in a car under any circumstance-even for a minute. To learn more about this please visit our site.
At Kids in Cars, we are devoted to informing as many people as we can reach about the dangers associated with leaving children unattended in or around vehicles.
Helping Children Find Their Path:
Growing up I recall my parents telling me the consequences of telling a lie, being envious of others, and a plethora of information to mold a "skull full of mush." To this day it has become the foundation of my decision making in marriage, business, and raising my children. We are a product of "what we have learned, accepted, and experienced."
I believe that making children wise in dealing with choices will increase their prudence in dealing with danger. Children are open to instruction. They need exposure to the direction of their steps and the instruction about the path of life.
Simply put we need to teach our children to:
1. Learn from the mistakes of others.
2. Make decisions with virtue and honor.
3. Know that shortcuts have never built character.
Robert Taylor
Retired police officer
25 years of law enforcement, 24 years of marriage, and 14 years of ministry
Questions for the Predators Team:
Do you have a question or comment about a particular type of crime? Email your questions to the Predators Crime Prevention Specialist - Retired Officer Carl Duke!
If you have been a victim of a predator related crime and would like to submit your story for the Predators book, please send it to us at info@predators.tv.
We would like to thank Matthew Upton at MNM WebWorks for sponsoring this newsletter and the Predators web site.
