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Victim Advocacy and Victim Healing

Emotions vary by the day, hour, and moment. It is normal. It is a very normal reaction to a very abnormal event in the victim's life. It is the advocate's role to help the survivor understand they are not "going crazy" - there are experiencing a "roller coaster ride" of emotions. They are grieving. They are grieving the loss of their sense of safety. They are grieving the loss of control of their own bodies (and in sexual assault they are grieving the loss of control over their most intimate body parts). They are grieving their sense of trust of others. They are in pain. They need to express their shock, grief, and hurt. Tears are healing. Tears are cleansing. Talking about it can be very helpful - talking to an interventionist, a counselor, a member of the clergy, or a trusted friend. The survivor is processing the event and emotions and re-claiming control and power. The assailant may have rendered the victim powerless for the moment of the crime - but recovering from the event - by allowing the survivor time to heal - is regaining power. We cannot always control what happens to us but we can control how we react to it.

As an advocate, I wanted to help victims heal. Find justice. Recover. Be joyful. Laugh again. Enjoy the rest of their lives. It starts with immediate intervention and progresses through the dynamic individual needs and specific case requirements. Every individual is different and every individual needs are different. However, common problems areas crime victims may experience include physical, emotional, financial, spiritual, relational, intellectual, professional, legal/judicial and media.

Like the phases of grief (shock, denial, searching and yearning, bargaining, disorganization, and reorganization), victims may not experience each problem area in an orderly compartmentalized sequence. Problem areas may overlap, may be experienced individually or cumulatively, immediately or later. One problem area may be experienced and almost resolved when an event causes a setback and the victim begins to work through the problem area - again. It's okay to begin again. It's okay to persevere. Recover.

What are the mechanics of recovery? Of healing? Of grieving and processing? It varies for everyone. How do YOU express grief and anger? Do you cry? Curse? Scream? Yell? Sulk? Don't talk? Get moody? Grief is like undigested food - if you don't process it - it will come back up - it will manifest. It comes back up in a variety of ways from unexplained anger at a spouse or a co-worker to being short-tempered or moody. Or it may manifest in other ways.

What might work for you? How might you process this event in your life? How might you digest this grief? How will you heal? How will you find help? With counseling or journaling? Helping others? Physical activity? I have worked with several victims who engaged in physical activity. They reported while they were jogging or playing tennis, etc. they would think of how angry or sad they were at what had happened to them. They would process their emotions while exerting their physical energy. They could be very angry at the tennis ball, smack it with their racket and not hurt anyone. They could channel their anger - positively - without hurting themselves or others. Survivors told me they felt better - they got their anger out and they were physically tired and able to sleep. With their medical professional's approval and in a way that did not cause harm to themselves or others - they processed their emotions. This is not to say physical activity is a simple cure to victimization - of course not. But for many victims it helped them channel negative energy, it helped them to constructively vent their feelings.

If you are the victim, I urge you to choose constructive not destructive means to channel, to process, and to heal. For some it may be a combination process of spiritualness, counseling, and physical activity. Explore what will help you and don't be afraid to ask for help.

My college professor and mentor, Dr. Eric Hickey, introduced me to the field of victimology. He showed me the cruel extent of criminal victimization and the awesome power of healing. Each individual healing journey is different. Please commit to a healthy recovery. Give yourself permission to get help. Commit to regaining control of your life - grieve the event - process your emotions and give yourself permission to have a happy healthy, normal productive life. Give yourself permission to discover "normal" again. Normal may be a new and different normal - but you deserve to enjoy it. You control your life. You CAN heal.

P. D. Howard
www.globaltraumatology.com

To help increase public awareness about predatory behaviors, reduce potential victim risk and to help save lives, Predators and Victims, Global Institute of Traumatology and Griffin Technical College are creating a national crime prevention kit. "Predators and Victims National Crime Prevention Collaboration" is an educational effort which will provide public awareness information to 5,000 law enforcement agencies and academic institutions across the United States. We need your help. This project has been submitted to the United States Department of Justice for federal funding consideration. Please contact your federal legislative delegation and request their support for "Predators and Victims National Crime Prevention Collaboration funding request for $1.8 million". The link at www.senate.gov will provide a legislative directory for you. Please, write, call and e-mail your delegation requesting theirsupport for this project. Together we can make a difference. Together we can save lives. Thank you for your help.

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